Life Update: A lot has happened and it’s been too much

– life update –

A lot has happened since I last wrote on this blog. I have been going through so many emotions that at the end of it I was just too exhausted to do the thing that relaxes me most: create blog content. But I have to force myself back into this routine. It’s like going to the gym – takes a bit of effort, but once you’ve been you feel proud, like you’ve just accomplished something. That’s how this blog makes me feel. And I’ve missed it.

SO WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON?

We got married

First of all, the most obvious thing was that Dan & I got married last year.  Planning a wedding abroad was not the easiest thing, but I wasn’t too stressed. You see, I never dreamt of a specific wedding, wasn’t sure what I wanted or anything. I wanted to feel good and have fun. And boy, I did!

We lost a house

To make it all more interesting, we were in the process of buying a house. Right after the wedding we were meant to finalise everything and we were already inviting everyone over. It all fell apart shortly, when the bank said the house is not worth the money we were paying and they won’t give us the requested loan. We had to let that house go. It wasn’t easy to find a house in the first place and now we were back to square one. Just imagine how hard it is to find a dress for a special occasion. Now imagine how hard it is to find the house. And then be told you can’t have it anymore. Heartbreaking.

We bought another house

Honestly, from then on all we wanted was to find a new place and that became our obsession. All mornings, afternoons and weekends. This meant I had to give something up: my blog, my creative part time pleasure.

I am happy to tell you guys that early this year Dan & I have received the keys to our first house. From the moment we saw the house and put an offer on it, it took 5 months to get the keys. My patience has never been tested like this before..

We started a project

The house we bought is more like a project, it’s an old house in need for renovations. We’re talking walls taken down, replacing the wiring and heating systems and so on. All very big jobs. So no matter how fun it all sounded at the beginning, getting the right people for the job, getting the right details and documentation and then.. well.. spending all the money – all this was a bit hectic and nerve wrecking. We moved now in a house with no kitchen and only one room where we sleep, eat, change, everything. It is not the most comfortable thing but I’m happy to finally have taken this step.

I re-started my blogging/vlogging

I got myself new lighting, a new camera and decided to re-launch my blogging. This time I was going to do Youtube, which meant I can organise it all myself and decide my own schedule without any additional help. I made a calendar, made a plan so I could find enough time to create videos on a regular basis.

I crushed

Now just imagine this: I was working full time with no holidays left, Dan was working 60 hour weeks on a new project he just started, we were in the middle of changing houses and moving into our new home (aka construction site), packing all our things/unpacking everything, still trying to cook with no kitchen so we eat healthy(ish) and also trying to film interesting Youtube material at least once a week. I just couldn’t do this anymore. It’s funny, you’ve got all these things going on and think to yourself – why am I complaining? It’s just that it all happened at once and we just couldn’t take it anymore.

I prioritised

So instead of giving up the things I like, I decided to come to a compromise. The big news is that I’m working part time now. This way I have more time to do other things that matter to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. But I also love creating content. I also always dreamt of having my house with my garden and my style. So yes, I wanted to take over the house project too. And lastly, I wanted to lift some pressure from my husband’s shoulders. One of us needed to take over some of the new responsibilities.

I can sleep now

I haven’t slept so well in months, I am so excited and so happy. There’s still a long way to go and I’m not even half way there. My blog is nowhere close to a winning website, money maker machine. My house is a mess. My career is under pressure with me spending only half the time on it now. But it’s ok. You can’t always have it all and you can’t put all that pressure on you. I’m here to enjoy my life and that’s what I’m going to do.

I’m still not sure why I told you all this. I usually don’t share this much with the world. But the morale of the story is: sometimes it’s ok to feel overwhelmed, even though apparently it all looks good and exciting. Sometimes it’s just too much and sometimes you need to let some things go.

I’ve only got one life and I’m gonna bloody enjoy it. I’ve missed this.

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Why I don’t blog as often anymore…

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I remember some years ago being alone in my room, contemplating whether I should write a blog or not. I remember my biggest problem was how will I create the content? I had a cheap pink camera, no photography skills, no budget to buy any new clothes and absolutely no tech skills on how to launch a blog. But I really liked the idea and without thinking too much about it, I decided to make a start. I was so nervous when I shared my first blog post.. It wasn’t anything extraordinary, but I was out there, for everyone to see and to judge and it wasn’t really my favourite feeling.

But years went by and I still kept on blogging and it slowly became a part of me. As a part time blogger, or how I like to call it – a hobby, my most asked question was why I still do it. What’s the outcome? And honestly I wasn’t 100% sure myself, until now. It all started with a deep passion I always had for the fashion and textile industry. But I never wanted to be a designer, I just wanted to work with clothes somehow, in a creative way. It took a while, a lot of what if’s, a lot of wonder. But now I’ve got it, now I do what I love and now I don’t need to feel the gap anymore. And that’s why I don’t blog as often these days. I’ve found a job that pays for spending my time doing exactly what I’ve always wanted. And the cool thing is that having the blog helped me get there 🙂

As I look back, everything makes sense. All the small projects I did in my spare time, the education I chose, the previous jobs… it all comes together beautifully. And that’s what I want to tell you guys because I know that for some of us is not that clear what we want to do and where we wanna go. Just follow your passion, make sure to excel in anything you do and it will come to you, I promise! And to spread this message, I had to wear a power pantsuit. There’s no better way to say – just be fierce!

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Red pantsuit (both pieces) – Lavish Alice at Asos.com | Glasses – Versace at Boots.com | Laptop case *can’t find the exact one anymore* – Michael Kors |Red Lipstain – MUA at Superdrug | Pumps – H&M | Top *similar* – Phase Eight

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