What I’ve learnt from being married for one year

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I never believed in the fairytale wedding scenario. I remember being just a child and thinking to myself – how do you know when someone’s meant to be with you forever? Now I know the answer: you just know. I simply knew I was meant to spend the rest of my life with Dan. It just felt right and exciting. So here’s what I’ve learnt from my very short married experience.

Weddings are fun

I am so glad we got to have two weddings – we just had the best fun in the world. So here’s my advice to you: if you are definitely against having a wedding, just do a small party with your loved ones. Make sure you celebrate your relationship somehow. It’s just so full of joy and happiness and goosebumps. It’s a perfect occasion for a party, just think about it: celebrating two people that are in love, celebrating getting a new family – it’s exciting for everyone!

You feel more settled

This is society messing with my head but I swear since I got married I feel more settled. It’s weird, I didn’t need a paper to know that Dan will be beside me forever. But somehow it just made it all sound more reassuring. I know it’s silly, but I’m here to be honest.

Butterflies come again

I am so much more in love since we got married, it’s crazy! It’s all the excitement I guess. Maybe also postponing our honeymoon for a year was a good thing too. It kept the momentum going if that makes sense. It’s the small things too, calling your partner “husband” or hearing him call you “wife”. Yes, it’s as cheesy at is sounds, but it feels so gooood.

It motivates you

I often hear jokes like, you got married that’s it, you can now get lazy and fat and so on. Like life ends when you get married. Since last year I have become more preoccupied with how I look and what I do career wise. I really want to make my husband proud. It’s kind of like I just realised it’s forever so I want to make sure he’ll always be interested in me, in how I look, in what I do and what I say. (and gosh I do talk a lot, so might as well be interesting!) It’s like extra motivation to get to the next level.

Baby topics are very common

If I could have a penny for every time we get asked when we’re going to have babies.. It’s fine though, it doesn’t bother me – sometimes it’s just a question to break the ice. Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of people get offended by this question and say it’s a personal matter. I agree, it is a personal matter, but I also think it’s just a courtesy question that doesn’t need to be taken seriously. People are asking for the sake of conversation, not to know the ins and outs of your reproductive thoughts.

Nothing has to change if you don’t want to

I refused to change my surname and many people got mental about it. I don’t even know why, it’s none of their business. So let me tell you why I decided to keep my name: because it’s so much more practical! I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to take days off to go all the way to the embassy to London to change all my paperwork. Then go back to Romania to change all my bank account details too. Oh and don’t forget about the drivings licence and all the bank accounts in the UK. Oh an also I like my name and I don’t want to. The thing is, marriage can be however you want it to be. You don’t have to follow all the silly social rules. It’s what matters to you and your partner. Besides my name, most of my life stayed the same. Just a bit more exciting.

What are your thoughts on marriage? let me know 🙂 

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We’re all in this together

It’s funny how things work.. Last month I had a flicker of creativity, wrote an article quickly and before I knew it, I pressed publish. And there it was. Out for the world to see my weakness. Me, a typical Aries – stubborn, ambitious and with too much personality. So for me to say I couldn’t handle it, was not easy at all.

I was overwhelmed with the messages and the amount of people that contacted me afterwards. First, everyone wanted to know if I’m ok, how I feel and if they could help. It made me feel incredible to see that many people that care.

Secondly, I felt like I started my version of a #metoo campaign. So many of you told me how you’ve been struggling, how you couldn’t do it anymore. And that, basically, we all deal with issues and it’s not as easy breezy – and that it’s harder and harder to find the best opportunity to talk about these things. How do you start a conversation about “I can’t do this anymore?”. In my case, this is how I started the conversation and I ended up talking with many beautiful friends that all had challenges much bigger than mine.

It gave me peace to share this with others and it gave you peace to share your problems with me.

We’re all in this together.

I’m wearing: dress from Shein and the bag belongs to Dan’s grandma. She used it when she was my age, to take food to workers on the fields. It’s older than me and yet, the trendiest accessory for this summer.

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Life Update: A lot has happened and it’s been too much

– life update –

A lot has happened since I last wrote on this blog. I have been going through so many emotions that at the end of it I was just too exhausted to do the thing that relaxes me most: create blog content. But I have to force myself back into this routine. It’s like going to the gym – takes a bit of effort, but once you’ve been you feel proud, like you’ve just accomplished something. That’s how this blog makes me feel. And I’ve missed it.

SO WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON?

We got married

First of all, the most obvious thing was that Dan & I got married last year.  Planning a wedding abroad was not the easiest thing, but I wasn’t too stressed. You see, I never dreamt of a specific wedding, wasn’t sure what I wanted or anything. I wanted to feel good and have fun. And boy, I did!

We lost a house

To make it all more interesting, we were in the process of buying a house. Right after the wedding we were meant to finalise everything and we were already inviting everyone over. It all fell apart shortly, when the bank said the house is not worth the money we were paying and they won’t give us the requested loan. We had to let that house go. It wasn’t easy to find a house in the first place and now we were back to square one. Just imagine how hard it is to find a dress for a special occasion. Now imagine how hard it is to find the house. And then be told you can’t have it anymore. Heartbreaking.

We bought another house

Honestly, from then on all we wanted was to find a new place and that became our obsession. All mornings, afternoons and weekends. This meant I had to give something up: my blog, my creative part time pleasure.

I am happy to tell you guys that early this year Dan & I have received the keys to our first house. From the moment we saw the house and put an offer on it, it took 5 months to get the keys. My patience has never been tested like this before..

We started a project

The house we bought is more like a project, it’s an old house in need for renovations. We’re talking walls taken down, replacing the wiring and heating systems and so on. All very big jobs. So no matter how fun it all sounded at the beginning, getting the right people for the job, getting the right details and documentation and then.. well.. spending all the money – all this was a bit hectic and nerve wrecking. We moved now in a house with no kitchen and only one room where we sleep, eat, change, everything. It is not the most comfortable thing but I’m happy to finally have taken this step.

I re-started my blogging/vlogging

I got myself new lighting, a new camera and decided to re-launch my blogging. This time I was going to do Youtube, which meant I can organise it all myself and decide my own schedule without any additional help. I made a calendar, made a plan so I could find enough time to create videos on a regular basis.

I crushed

Now just imagine this: I was working full time with no holidays left, Dan was working 60 hour weeks on a new project he just started, we were in the middle of changing houses and moving into our new home (aka construction site), packing all our things/unpacking everything, still trying to cook with no kitchen so we eat healthy(ish) and also trying to film interesting Youtube material at least once a week. I just couldn’t do this anymore. It’s funny, you’ve got all these things going on and think to yourself – why am I complaining? It’s just that it all happened at once and we just couldn’t take it anymore.

I prioritised

So instead of giving up the things I like, I decided to come to a compromise. The big news is that I’m working part time now. This way I have more time to do other things that matter to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. But I also love creating content. I also always dreamt of having my house with my garden and my style. So yes, I wanted to take over the house project too. And lastly, I wanted to lift some pressure from my husband’s shoulders. One of us needed to take over some of the new responsibilities.

I can sleep now

I haven’t slept so well in months, I am so excited and so happy. There’s still a long way to go and I’m not even half way there. My blog is nowhere close to a winning website, money maker machine. My house is a mess. My career is under pressure with me spending only half the time on it now. But it’s ok. You can’t always have it all and you can’t put all that pressure on you. I’m here to enjoy my life and that’s what I’m going to do.

I’m still not sure why I told you all this. I usually don’t share this much with the world. But the morale of the story is: sometimes it’s ok to feel overwhelmed, even though apparently it all looks good and exciting. Sometimes it’s just too much and sometimes you need to let some things go.

I’ve only got one life and I’m gonna bloody enjoy it. I’ve missed this.

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